Constructing Your New Self

Now let's talk about constructing your new self.

So if you want to make this transformation from who you are to who you are becoming, Its first good to figure out who are you .you know human beings draw boundaries around themselves in order to try to form a sense of self identity.

So how do you figure out what is my real self?

Well we describe our self as we have come to know it ok, so our experience up until this point is what we'll construct the current self of who we really are. Whenever do you describe yourself, you're drawing a mental boundary and everything inside is the self and outside is something different, not the self.

Most people are unaware of how limiting they are when drawing that boundary. So your identity depends entirely where you draw that line. You draw that form around you which is a ‘self’, everything outside of it is not the ‘self’. And when you have an identity crisis this is arises when you don't know how or where to draw the line.

But the thing is that what is powerful to realize is this boundary can and frequently does shift. But most people don't do it consciously and they can have a conflicting self where they don't know which one is really winning in terms of where they've drawn those boundaries.

But redrawing the boundary is what Stryv-X is all about.

It’s designed to show you how to redraw the boundary and figure out where you want to redraw the boundary.

As we go through these modules you're going to have more frameworks and models and understanding of what is encompassed in that, stuff you used to be unaware of, and they'll teach you how to draw the boundary and then you can figure out where to draw it and we'll give you help doing that.

Here are some common boundary so you can get this concept.

First of all you've got the skin. So we draw a distinction between ourselves and the world around us, this is probably one of the most common ones.

So then you've got it as the organism you on the inside where you've drawn the boundary and the world. If you think about it we don't really think of ourselves in that entire form. So there's actually another boundary we limit ourselves even more than just our physical presence.

Then we have the mind psyche ego and personality boundary. And we actually disassociate from our body. So you know, the question is like ‘do you feel you are a body or you have a body?’

Most people feel like they have a body which then makes a separation from themselves and the body. Just like you have a house. You aren't your house, as soon as you think you have a body you're creating that boundary around the mind. So you're separating the mind and the body.

Now in the emotions module I'm going to show you how you reconnect these two. As biologically speaking there's no foundation for this separation. You can't construct the mind or the self without the emotions and the body. But people do it anyway, at least where they form the mental mind, but biologically speaking it doesn't make sense.

So the individual doesn't put the whole organism within the boundary of the self. But you've got more a mental self-image of who you are. The thing is as well that goes even further into the persona boundary. So we refuse to admit certain aspects of ourselves in this narrow perspective we call the persona. So and the bit that we reject about ourselves that we don't admit to ourselves is really there is called the ‘shadow’.

So then you get the persona shadow boundary. So and that's really about denying unwanted aspects.

So you can see already how much we limit the self even from our own full organism down to our mind and ego right down to a persona where we're ignoring things that are actually true about us but we don't want to accept.

So for you the question becomes where are your boundaries? How do you draw them?

I put the picture of this castle up there because a castle is a great example of the reason they put those walls up and even a moat sometimes was for protection is to keep other things out. But the problem once you protect you know you keep yourself within and you can't then expand, it's different from a city which just starts for me and can grow and grow and grow, as soon as you put up those walls you either have to start knocking them down if you want to expand or you're stuck within it. So where are you drawing your boundaries and what are you trying to protect yourself from.

What about the new you? Because who you are now not who is capable of achieving the success you want. And that might be hard to hear but if you already were that person unless it's just a time thing then you have to shift, you have to move those boundaries. So you must redraw those boundaries and that's what the program is about.

So, if this is yourself now an outside of it you've got the dreams, you know your new life that you want, aspirations, ambitions, emotions you want to feel, success, personality you want have, confidence you want to feel, the values you want to embody or develop. Then you must grow yourself and it starts by redrawing those boundaries and this is the final step on the one page growth plan. So you're going to go into the self-section now and you're going to fill out that final section, ‘the self’. And this is almost like someone else is at doing a third party commentary on who you have become and who you have been in your life.

Here, an example, for me I've got Zander Woodford-Smith is an impact of positive change. He is renowned for transforming the way people create success fulfillment and balance in their lives. Zander software's used by more than million people every single day and has transformed the coaching and consulting industry. Zander’s name is synonymous with impact and giving, he lives in his dream home with lots of sun. He spends his days improving the company's products, speaking on stages around the world, playing tennis and relaxing with his beautiful wife and two children.

So this is just the first part of things we will expand later. But this is so that every single day you can review this and have it a clear picture of the self you are creating, because clarity is what alters your perception and your perception, as we talked about in a previous video, changes your reality and once you can change that reality you perceive, the beliefs you have about your ability to do it and make that change become different, and you set different hypotheses, so you have a different potential, You put in different level of effort to change the actions and that then changes the results once you look at the feedback and it creates this positive cycle.

It's so important you start being able to see yourself as this aspirational self, because you will then become it. You'll start triggering the confirmation bias to actually be in your favor of looking for things that prove you are that person and you are becoming that person rather than things that say ‘no you're not that person, you'll never be that person, of you're not good enough to be that person, who do you think you are trying to be that person’. It will flip it on its head the more clarity you get.

Here I've got a line which just, it’s been like this one, we want a summary line and then a more deeper input, because you want to be able to get these, you might not be able to remember the whole thing, but you want things in your head that are much shorter that you can just repeat over and over again. So throughout the day thinking right “I'm altruistic tech entrepreneur icon known as a futurist genius and change maker”. So that's the self I'm trying to embody and it's my aspirational self. And if I can remind myself of that often and keep that front of mind then it's going to change the reality that I have and the confirmation bias. Then this is just filling out detail for when you review it, you know in the mornings and evenings.

So go ahead now and fill that out and finish off your one-page growth plan, and I'll show you how to really use this for maximum effect.